The Apostle Who Doubted... and Believed
After Our Lord rose from the dead, He appeared a number of times to his apostles and disciples. Some of these are only mentioned in Scripture without being described in detail, episodes about which we cannot but be curious. When the two disciples on the road to Emmaus realized that they had seen the risen Lord, they rushed back to the other disciples who greeted them with the news that “the Lord has been truly raised and has appeared to Simon” (Luke 24:33-34). This appearance to Peter must have been well known, for St. Paul himself also testifies to it in his letter to the Corinthians.
Other appearances are also well known. One is struck by the sheer diversity of His appearances. He appeared to faithful followers, to groups, to individuals, and even to men who were, at the time of the appearance, his enemies (as with St. Paul). Among the well-known and well-described appearances is one to his apostles in the Upper Room. The apostles were gathered there, but only ten of them. Judas had not yet been replaced and Thomas was absent.
We do not know why Thomas was absent, but Venerable Bishop Sheen suggested that it may have been because of his unbelief. Three different times in the Gospels, Thomas is portrayed as showing a certain pessimism. As Ven. Sheen writes, when Our Lord proposed to go see Lazarus, even though the Jews were seeking His life, Thomas resignedly remarked to the other apostles, “let us also go and die with Him” (John 11:16). St. John Chrysostom also suggested this comment reflected a weakness of faith. For whatever the reason, however, Thomas was not present when Our Lord appeared to the other ten apostles.
After He did, the ten immediately rushed to find Thomas, telling him that they had seen the Risen Lord. But Thomas doubts. The story is the focus of the middle verses of the splendid Easter Hymn, “O filii et filiae,” typically translated into English as “O Sons and Daughters.” Anthony Esolen writes about the hymn in his invaluable book, Real Music.
When Thomas first the tidings heard,
How they had seen the risen Lord,
He doubted the disciples word.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!
The Alleluias at the end of the line may strike one rather strangely. We have just heard that Thomas doubted. Why should we then sing Alleluia? And yet Esolen finds nothing strange in them. He writes,
“I have long thought that the alleluias at the end of the end of this stanza are the sweetest in all our hymnody. Why should we be singing alleluia, just after the description of Thomas’s doubt? But we know what is going to happen. We are enjoying Thomas’s embarrassment, and we anticipate his joy.”
And a week later, we find it. The disciples were again together and, this time, Thomas was with them. The hymn tells of the appearance of Our Lord. He wastes no time. He wishes the apostles peace and immediately addresses the question at hand. He turns to Thomas.
“My pierced side, O Thomas, see;
My hands, my feet, I show, to thee;
Not faithless, but believing be.”
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!
We are struck by the gentleness of Our Lord. Ven. Sheen writes how He found no fault with Thomas, nor did he reprove him any more than he reproved Peter by the Sea of Galilee: “Thomas asked for a proof based on the sense of the faculties that belong to the animal kingdom; and a proof of the sense would be given him.”
We can imagine Thomas feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed for a moment and even perhaps shy. He doubted the disciples, and now Our Lord stands before him. Much of the great art illustrating this moment actually makes this point with interest. Thomas does not merely reach out on hiRs own at his Master’s invitation. Instead, Jesus takes his hand and brings it to His own pierced side, where He invites Thomas: “Cease thy doubting and believe.”
The hymn continues:
No longer Thomas then denied,
He saw the feet, the hands, the side;
“Thou art my Lord and God,” he cried.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!
We may be inclined to be amused at Thomas, but we should not, for we owe him a great deal of gratitude. I remember once reading that Thomas’s doubts served us in a way that the belief of other other apostles did not. For once he had his doubts satisfied, Thomas immediately proclaimed the risen Christ as his Lord and God.
The saint thus directly affirmed His identity not only for himself and for the apostles, but for all the generations of Christians who went after. Ven. Sheen writes that “he who was last to believe, was the first to make the full confession of the divinity of the Risen Savior.” Eastern Catholics put it beautifully: “O marvelous wonder; the lack of faith gave birth to a certainty of faith… teach us to cry as Thomas, ‘My Lord and My God.’”
And yet future generations also cannot demand the same proof that St. Thomas did. Hence our Lord clarified to St. Thomas: “Thou hast learned to believe because thou hast seen Me. Blessed are those who have not seen, And yet have learned to believe.” What would become of the faith if everyone demanded the same proof as St. Thomas before believing? What would that mean for faith at all? Future generations have to believe without sight, but, as Ven. Sheen says, their faith has a firm foundation in the sight and testimony of the Apostles. And throughout the history of the Church, “some gratitude must always… be credited to Thomas, who touched Christ as a man, but believed in him as God.”